I woke up this morning, that's how many songs go
But this one's quite different as I soon will show
When I put on my pants, they didn't fit at all well
And the mirror explained it -- oh! I grew a tail
Now it couldn't be worse
It's evolution in reverse
And I guess that I'm cursed
By evolution in reverse
By the time I made breakfast, I was covered in fur
Like a Homo erectus but I'm really not sure
And the kitchen no longer felt normal to me
So I climbed out the window and I climbed up a tree
I'd always taken for granted my opposable thumbs
But my hands turned to paws and my paws made me glum
And I got a lot smaller, and I got a lot scared
And I sat in the branches where the squirrels all stared
I tried to call up a nurse
But evolution in reverse
Doesn't have any cures
Evolution in reverse
And I guess that I'm cursed
By evolution in reverse
Because it couldn't be worse
Than evolution in reverse
Now Kafka's a cockroach, and Gogol lost his nose
And countless blues singers were alone when they rose
But I'm far more alarmed at the meaning of this
How many mornings till I wake up a fish?
And how many days till I lose all my fins,
And float in the sea absorbing food through my skin?
But it's not really skin, it's like some kind of cell wall
Well at least I'll discover what started this all
I had no time to rehearse
For evolution in reverse
And I guess that I'm cursed
By evolution in reverse
Now it's a little perverse
This evolution in reverse
And it couldn't be worse
Than evolution in reverse
I tried to call up a nurse
But evolution in reverse
Doesn't have any cures
Evolution in reverse
And I guess that I'm cursed
By evolution in reverse
Because it couldn't be worse
Than evolution in reverse